Nothing like being kept on our toes! Holden's surgeon called a little while ago and said he wants to do the surgery tomorrow. The attending doctor is arranging a bed in the ICU, getting all of the doctors on the same page and pinning down a time. We will hopefully have more information later this evening. (Updated to add: Holden won't be the first case in the morning, so our tentative time frame is around noon to early afternoon. We will keep you all posted as best as can.)
I have to keep reminding myself how much I wanted this to happen. I cried. I threw temper tantrums. I practically begged for this surgery. And now that it's here I am terrified.
Now all I need to do is find the courage to hand my baby over again. Hand him over to another stranger and pray that God sees fit to guide the surgeon's hands, to bring my baby back to us once again.
Our surgeon is the best there is, we've been told by countless people. He is completely qualified and highly recommended, but still a stranger- One who I'm trusting with my little man's life. Will that part ever get easier? I don't think so.
So please say a big prayer for our little man tonight. The surgeons will be expert, and he will be brave... But I'd appreciate your strength in his corner just the same.
Oh my gosh! I'm so anxious for you!!! I will be sending up lots of prayers for your litte guy tonight, more than usual. I'm sure there are lots of people who will be doing the same. You know, I read all of your posts on here, and you write so well. There is no question after reading a post of how you're feeling or what's going on. Have you ever thought of turning this blog into a book? You know, one day, down the road, once Holden gets past all this and has his new heart. It would be a great book for CHD awareness. Just something I think about every time I read your blog. Anyway, our prayers are with you. Can't wait to hear that the surgery went well. Hang in there!!!!
ReplyDeleteRight on! Holden is a soldier, he will fight through the surgery and come out on top. Ill be sending my prayers as well. It was so nice having you and Trent over last night. i cant wait for Holden to come too! My thoughts and prayers will be with ya'll the whole way. Give him a BIG KISS for me! We love you guys. Cindy and Charlie
ReplyDeletePraying for you guys in Arlington. <3
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