It's been yet another rough 24 hours for our little man. His vomiting is even worse than before, and it seems to be so much harder on him now. When he's not throwing up, he's retching and gagging, even in his sleep. It's completely heartbreaking to watch him go through this once again, and I am devastated to think that we haven't found the answers for him yet. I was so hoping that this last surgery would be the "fix" for him. :(
Adding to the mix, after retching all night and being unable to sleep, he spiked a 102 fever around midnight. We have no idea what's going on. We don't know if it's a bug he picked up here, or if he has some kind of infection going on. They collected blood for cultures in the middle of the night, and we'll see if that shows anything today. It can take 48 hours for the tests to complete, but I'm hoping that we'll be able to pinpoint something sooner. It took three tries to draw blood from a peripheral vein, since he has so much scar tissue from previous lines. I'm sure that's a common issue for a lot of these kids, but that doesn't make it suck any less.
All that to say, he's had better nights.
He finally got to sleep around 4am, and he got a little bit of rest before waking up to do it all again this morning. My poor baby just can't seem to catch a break in here! I am quickly getting back to the breaking point with frustration, and I pray we have some concrete answers soon- before I completely lose it.
Some days it's hard to find a way to sound upbeat and positive when writing an update. It's difficult to explain what goes on day to day without sounding hopeless, when sometimes it truly does feel hopeless. I do recognize and appreciate the miracles that have already come his way, but I also have to acknowledge the many struggles and trials that have come his way as well. I do try to keep things in perspective, and remember the many, many ways in which we are blessed. Some days, like today, it's harder.
So today I'll be praying for peace, healing and comfort for Holden. For understanding and patience. For faith to be reassured and hope restored.
If you happen to be on your knees today as well, we'd appreciate a prayer in his general direction.
I hate this for you all, but especially for Holden :( I'm so sorry to hear that he's having such a hard time again, I too, thought this surgery would have been somewhat of a fix. Bless you all Lindsey. Now, more than ever (if that's possible), I am praying for you guys.
ReplyDeleteNaomi
We're so sorry to hear he's not getting some relief. I can hear your frustration and sadness. We are on our knees always for you all. We will continue to pray for y'all. We will pray for comfort for Holden, as always. Love you much!
ReplyDeleteThis breaks my heart, Lindsey, and I'm praying:
ReplyDeleteFather, if the best minds in medicine haven't figured out how to help Holden, who can we turn to but You?! I pray that You will give them direction and wisdom; lead them to the correct solution to give Holden relief from the vomiting. More than this, I pray that You heal him, heal his heart, heal him from head to toe. I pray that you strengthen Lindsey and Trent, and that their reliance on You for hope and strength grows each day.
Lord, I pray that Holden does not have an infection raising his temperature, but if there is one, I pray for quick destruction of the source of infection. I pray that no illness be allowed to enter into this already complex mix.
I give You thanks and praise for all You have already done for Holden, and for what You will continue to do for him.
I know that there are many families suffering the heartache of a life-threatening illness in their child, and they all seek answers and healing. I pray that in their time of desperation, they find You and in You, all the hope and answers they need, and healing in all the areas of their lives where it is needed.
Thank You for being so loving, so desirous of a relationship with us that You sent Your son to die for us. We cannot grasp that kind of sacrifice! We may barely understand sacrificing ourself for our own son, but not sacrificing our son for someone else. Your love is over our heads, but we choose to believe it is true because You say it is! Help us to trust You, and continue to seek You for the answers we desire.
I pray that these desires are in line with Your will for all of us, especially for Holden.
Hold him in Your lap, Father, and heal him.
I pray all of these things in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.