Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Day 121

We've had quite the busy week already, and we still don't have much to report. Trent and I had errands to run and things to do around the house, so my sweet mother-in-law came up to stay with Holden yet again while we briefly escaped to our real home. I don't know what we would do without her, but I do know I would have lost my mind by now without her help! I say over and over again that we are blessed- and we truly are.

Holden is still chugging along, holding steady in his own version of normal. He's still vomiting, but otherwise he seems to be in pretty good spirits. He keeps busy with his usual gamut of therapies- Physical, massage, speech, occupational... He's very popular these days. His daily appointments are like a full time job.

We are still waiting for a surgery date to be set, and even though I am dreading this surgery more with each passing minute, I am so ready to get it over with. Holden is too... I can tell. I may be pinning too much hope on the surgery as a "fix", but right now I can only see it as our ticket out of here. Poor Holden has to pay for that ticket yet again, but he somehow pulls rabbit after rabbit out of his hat and grows stronger every day. His strength far surpasses mine. Thank God for that.

It's time for him to take that grace and strength elsewhere. It's time for a new view. It's time for him to be a one-year-old boy, rolling around in the dirt and playing with his dog and driving me crazy as I try to keep up with him. It's time for all of that and so much more. It's just time.

I'm beyond ready to reintroduce him to the outside world. He's the king of his little kingdom in here, but I want the world to be his kingdom- as it should be. He has one heck of a story to tell, and I can't wait for him to get out there and start sharing his tale. He may not speak yet, but his scars can tell the story for him. As much as I wish his skin was smooth and untouched like other babies, I love those scars. I am so proud of those scars- of him. So proud.

Funny how a kid with a broken heart can prove to have more heart than all of us. And trust me, the boy has heart. 

That is God's mercy at its finest.

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